Stubby Pencils

I smiled with delight every time I found a stubby pencil in one of Margie's baskets. She went through more pens and pencils than anyone I know. She wrote in her calendars and journals....on notepads and legal pads and the backs of junk mail and activity handouts. She started most days with a written morning prayer....then made lists...played word games...recorded her Wordle games....kept track of baseball game times...and wrote jingles and recorded memories. And so much more.

On the top of this particular recycled page was written this is the first day of fall in Maine. 

Margie listed all the letters grouping them so she knew how many there were of each....then  wrote down all the words she could think of with the letters. We've all done it....and she did it a LOT!

She had such a quiet and wonderful way of filling her days with simple things that brought her joy. There's so much to learn from that!

I have her pencil sharpener....and I'm going to keep using...and sharpening all these stubby little pencils. 

One Piece at a Time

There is still so much beauty in this season of letting go. Most of the trees are bare....and the last leaves are falling in the blustery wind.

I'm not going to lie....I've been struggling.  Margie's death happened so fast....and I'm still not feeling 100% after covid. The cough will eventually go away and the grieving will soften. It's all part of the ebb and flow of life.

There are still lots of chores and loose ends to to tie up...but I know it will be OK in the end. I'm certain of it. I've experienced loss before....it's not an unfamiliar feeling. And I'm comforted knowing that Margie was actually ready to go....she told us so many times. It's actually a miracle that it happened so quickly.

But the grief I feel about the future of our country is actually more troubling to me right now. With the timing of Margie's passing....I haven't had time to fully absorb it and it's hard to imagine what lies ahead of us. Right now I don't know how to think or act....or how to talk about it. Margie would have been deeply troubled by it all so she timed it perfectly.

This blog is about joy....so I'm not going write about it much here. But I needed to tonight. I needed to be real. And I do know that looking for and celebrating simple joys...and making and sharing art....and creating community will be more important than ever in the days....months....and years to come.

And I'm back to having breakfast at the puzzle table....finding one colorful piece at a time. And maybe for now...that is enough. 

Peace...

...is an inside job.

Paul and I had what might have been our last happy hour on the patio...but you never know. We don't mind bundling up.

It gets dusky pretty early these days....and the light was just lovely through the bare trees.

The Fabulous Free Motion class has continued...and is acutally winding down. I'm behind...but I have lifetime access to the course so I'm not worried. I have had a few sewing sessions here and there and it feels good to be back doing some of the things I enjoy.

Just yesterday I used a granite stitch to create this ornament in honor of Margie. She was a peace and justice lady...so this seemed like the perfect image to practice the technique.

This was actually the side I stitched on using a multi-colored variegated thread. The granite stitch is a lot of free motion tiny circles used to fill in an area creating a bit of relief. I stitched it on a piece of red wool...which I felted from a thrifted sweater a while back.

I had green in the bobbin...and in the end I like the backside much better. I'm going to put a hook on it and hang it on the Christmas tree this year in honor of Margie.

Claudia Diller, an artist I admire, thinks about PEACE as an inside job. While she paints her Peaceful Places....she heals.

Sorting...

....and resorting.

I've been sorting through Margie's things....it's heartwarming and sobering. She had such rich life....and so much of it quiet and personal....and quite touching.

I started a puzzle a few days ago. It had been way too long and life seems more balanced when I can sit at my table for a few minutes here and there throughout the day. This puzzle is the last one Margie finished exactly one month ago today and I'm excited to do it now too...the colors are just beautiful. I bought it with both of us in mind.

I got the border all together....except one missing corner piece and an extra edge piece. I'm sure the corner piece is in the mix with all the others...but I've looked and looked and just don't see it. And what's up with this extra edge piece?

I've gone over the border several times trying to figure out where it goes....and I'm sure the location will present itself when the time comes.

Then this happened. I had three boxes of pieces sorted by color sitting on my little TV tray table I keep on the side. As I was reaching for another box I dumped them all.

I shouted a cuss word...laughed a little...then walked away. I came back later with renewed determination and sat down on the floor and carefully picked them all up and resorted them. I think I found them all....but I won't really be certain until the end. And I'll keep checking the area. It's a good excuse to not vacuum the area for a while.

Sorting and resorting. That's my life for a while.

Tis The Season

"If you want to change the world, go home and love your family." Mother Teresa

If you want to feel better...cook up a storm then spend 5 hours with your grown children. Our boys had so much to offer last night that comforted my soul.

Bessie's needles are getting more and more yellow.

And before long her branches will be bare. Tis the season.

Joan and Dean planted a Dawn Redwood tree in their yard in Lexington. The Dawn Redwood is another deciduous conifer that drops its needles in the fall. That's new information for me. Joan said the needles are soft like the hackmatack and they likely went straight to brown this year because of the lack of rain.

If you didn't know better...you would think this tree is dying....but Joan knows better. I'm hoping to see some photos of it in the spring when the new needles appear.

My first Christmas cactus bloom is wide open...and so beautiful.  

And I was tickled with these photos from Roseanne and my sister LaVonn...theirs are budding and/or blooming too.  Tis the Season! And that's worth celebrating.

So Much Beauty

We've had several light frosts....

and I will never grow weary of looking closely and the icy leaves while we're out on our walks.

 

Nate and Sam are coming for dinner together tonight....and it's just what we all need after the whirlwind that has been these last several days. 

I am so grateful for the beautiful nature photos that friends have sent lately and I'm going to try and share them over these next days. I love knowing that friends are paying attention...and sharing what they see.

Tracie sent this photo of one lone yellow heart leaf on the morning that Margie died. She knew how much I love special moments just like this.

And Emily sent this photo of a perfectly framed maple in her backyard. It made her stop in her tracks...and that makes me smile.

Dotty took this photo the day her father passed...

and I'm so pleased she shared it with me.

There is so much beauty all around us...all the time.

At Peace

On Wednesday morning, November 6th, Margie passed away peacefully in her sleep blissfully unaware of the election results. She was a lifelong learner always searching for truth, promoting peace and justice, and passionately loving those who needed it the most. And she was a lot of fun at a party.

Just three short weeks ago Margie was doing her morning Wordle and journaling rituals and getting ready to host the book club at her assisted living facility. After her fall, she knew that her nearly 93 year old body was weary and not up to the challenge ahead of her. She decided it was time to go....and made it happen quickly. We are so very sad....but we are at peace. 

I continue to be touched by your cards and words of encouragement and concern. Thank you....from the bottom of my heart.

"Still what I want in my life is to be dazzled - to cast aside the weight of facts - and maybe even float a little above this difficult world." 

Mary Oliver

Watching and Waiting

Sometimes joy looks like my Christmas cactus starting to bloom just when I need it the most! 

It's going to be a long night as we watch...and wait for election returns. Lots of watching and waiting going on these days around here!

"Tonight we finish as we started: with optimism, with energy, with joy, knowing that we the people have the power to face our future and that we can confront any challenges we face when we do it together." Kamala Harris

Clear Lines

Ann sent this photo from Lexington...she was quite taken with the clear line between the red and the yellow leaves. I love it too! I'm pretty certain that's a ginkgo tree that lost almost all of  its leaves....that yellow carpet is all too familiar.  

There aren't many clear lines in life...but there are lots of fuzzy ones. And in this end of life process we are crossing them on a daily basis now.

A passage from Dotty: 

"The day was just another day and then something stopped. Something else began." The Tiny One by Eliza Minot

Standing and Sitting

 I visited Bessie yesterday....and the process of letting go of her needles has begun.

The soft needles are starting to turn golden yellow...and I just stood with her for a little while and soaked it in.

I also tested negative this morning so was able to sit with Margie most of the day. I caught up on all the cards...and am quite smitten with the outpouring of love.

Tiny and Perfect

 Do you see it?

It's tiny....and it's perfect!

We see what we want to see.

Noticing

Dotty has been reminding me almost daily of the simple joy of noticing....and I am grateful.

So just because things aren't necessarily any easier right now....it doesn't mean I can't be noticing again too.

We've had some unusually warm weather and I've felt well enough to take some walks. There's some massive changes going on out there....it's a whole different landscape than it was just a few weeks ago.

Mother nature continues to dazzle me.