Gratitude

Gratitude is how we hold the truth of beauty without pretending pain isn't there. D. Michele Perry

D Michele Perry's 3rd seeds of joy practice is gratitude....and her post was helpful for me....especially during these times when we can't pretend pain isn't there. These are scary times in our country.

We can hold gratitude and grief at the same time. Practicing gratitude helps us expand our capacity for all the ways goodness and joy can show up.

 A month ago I mentioned that I had a major setback in a long term project. That setback was with my stripes project. If you've been following along you might remember that I had been thinking about it for years....and working on it on and off for over a year.

After our new living room furniture arrived...I was more anxious than ever to finish it. I worked on it diligently and finally had it to the point where I was almost ready to start the top stitching. But in a freak accident while it was sitting on the dining room table it suffered significant water damage. The colors in the hand dyed fabrics bled into each other and where there wasn't bleeding...there were water spots. Almost the entire piece was ruined...and I was devastated.

I was ready to just let it go. But instead....after a few days of grieving....I began again. I changed my design...and have been quietly working on it on and off for the past month. I've wanted to blog about it....the process and ALL the steps along the way. It was...after all....one of the only studio projects I've been working on. But I just wasn't ready to share my story.

Just yesterday I had the binding sewn on and was able to wrap it around the canvas so I could audition it in the living room without fusing the binding to the back. 

But it wasn't right. I kept trying to convince myself that it was and looked at it from every angle in the room. But it just didn't work in the space. It was emotional...and I felt defeated. Again.

But today I have some perspective. I am practicing gratitude...and celebrating what I have accomplished.

I still love the stripes with ALL of that stitching where I used two spools of thread and about six bobbins. Stitching changes everything is one of my mottos. I still love the colors and the navy hand dyed border fabric was just perfect and was going to wrap beautifully around the canvas. 

Would the first design have worked? I'll never know. But what I do know is that I will chop this one up and reinvent the pieces and parts for other spaces....and I will begin again.

Today...I'm practicing gratitude for what I have learned and  accomplished. 

In doing that I am expanding my capacity for all the ways that joy can still show up.