"Praying"

The precious crabapple buds on my neighbor's tree are just beginning to open.....I love watching the petals unfold.  

I'll be checking often so you'll likely hear about them again...Mary Oliver's words, after all, have become one of my mantras:

Instructions for living a life: 
Pay attention. 
Be astonished. 
Tell about it.

Most of you know my husband Paul is a minister and I couldn't be more proud of him and what he does. I'm also pleased to belong to a church that supports and works for peace, justice, and equality in what is often a very troubled world. But you may not know that I'm uncomfortable talking about my own spirituality and faith and am a bit uncertain about what I actually believe about God.  And...that's OK.

This evening I attended the more informal evening service that would honor the poetry of Mary Oliver. It's easy to get lost in the crowd of the larger more traditional service on Sunday morning and I go as often as I can.....but this evening service is smaller and more interactive making me feel more vulnerable. But I'm glad I went and I heard a Mary Oliver poem I hadn't heard before called Praying.

It doesn't have to be
the blue iris, it could be
weeds in a vacant lot or a few
small stones: just
pay attention, than patch
a few words together and don't try
to make them elaborate, this isn't
a contest but the doorway 
into thanks, and a silence in which
another voice may speak.

Comforting words for someone who struggles with her faith...and knowing how to pray.  Maybe writing these blog posts at the end of almost every day is one of the ways I pray....my doorway into thanks.